The Battle of the Bedtime Story
Why is it that children seem to be programmed at birth to never want to go to sleep?
I often ask myself this at night, and dread the agonizingly long bedtime routine that is bound to happen.
One night, I had a revelation. As always, the rigamarole of bedtime was upon us — in and out of bed, picking out another story book, no make up a story, laying upside down, cover me up, no I don’t want to be covered, I need fresh water, I’m hungry, and so on and so on.
After a long day’s work, this nonsense was just intolerable. I was tired and frustrated and instead of using 3-year old speak and making up something I thought would get her to shut up, I looked at Ry and blurted out as honestly as possible exactly how I felt.
“Rylee, I’m tired. I’m trying to read you a nice bedtime story but you won’t listen to me. You don’t appreciate that I worked all day and I’m trying to put you to bed nicely but I just want to relax and drink my wine!”
And she paused, looked at me and said, “Ok, mommy.” And plopped her little ass in bed.
And now that I am alone and reflecting on this moment of utter honesty and the fact that she actually understood my proclamation of exhaustion, I am laughing at the whole situation.
Kids do go to bed. They just like to drag you along the torturous road of insubordination and shenanigans to see how long us idiots will last.
Well played, tiny human. Well played.
And now, your bedtime story for tonight. This is the summation of my blog post (*Warning: Explicit language below*):